• After purchase, it WILL NOT feel identical to the iPhone 8 you just handed down to your son/daughter
• Before purchase it WILL make total sense to spend $2k on a telephone
• Rest assured, it WILL NOT have a fingerprint sensor! When wearing a mask you can enter a pin number like it’s the 1990’s to use your phone. This feature is called the ‘warm and fuzzy Nokia 3110’ update
• BUT, if you wish, Apple have an option for the iPhone 14 that automagicaly makes a Bluetooth link with any facemask, of any mask brand (by upgrading the mask to Bluetooth of course) and allows you to unlock with your face. Please choose ‘Apple Watch Patch’ at checkout (prices start at only $599)
• Don’t worry! Now the iPhone 14 won’t come with a charge cable! As eagerly anticipated. Apple have upgraded their environmental policy and reduced the risk of YOU creating waste, not by just removing the charger but also removing the charge cable.
• :-J

Phone us for more super-secret Apple knowledge.